clinging onto every hope that this transfer will work

Tears welling in my eyes, excitement and fear coursing through my veins. ​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
Surrendering to the universe that what will be will be and yet clinging on to every ounce of hope that this transfer will work.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
Lying on a hospital bed in Cape Town, a very foreign country to us, not feeling massively safe, not knowing the cultural ways of the people who were caring for us, and yet placing all trust in them as we waited to have our precious embryo transfer.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
Is it possible to feel nervous, excited but also a sense of calm at the same time?​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
By this point of the journey I'd managed to get myself into a place of acceptance of whatever will be will be.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
I managed to surrender control and expectation to just going with the flow and accepting I know what I don't know.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
I kept saying to myself 'I know that I won't know if this has worked till my blood test and that's ok'.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
Affirming sentances like the above can sometimes give you some comfort and give your brain something to work with when you're used to being in control.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
Let me know any tips or tricks that work for you :)

Previous
Previous

what’s the no. 1 fear?

Next
Next

having to use donor egg/embryo/sperm is…