Life can throw you real curve balls right?

When I was told that my best chance of pregnancy was to consider using donor eggs this coincided with my dad being terminally ill with cancer.

I started to look into finding an egg donor but this seemed like such a hard thing to do and I didn’t know where to start.

I joined heaps of online forums, and would find myself awake in the wee hours searching through different topics on donor egg cycles to try and find the answers and reassurance I was seeking.

I researched and examined every avenue possible from known donors to anonymous and overseas donors from Hawaii to Eurpope and to South Africa.

The whole concept of using a donor and finding the right one was actually really frightening.

I just wanted to find someone that had been there and someone that could support me emotionally?

Finally I found a friend of a friend who had been down the donor egg pathway and it was only when I got to finally chat to her that I was able to gain some confidence in moving forward with a donor egg pathway.

Once I started to feel more confident about this option, I felt excited, I felt hope. This really could work for us.

I really wanted that experience of nurturing a baby to hold a baby in my arms.

It doesn’t help when everyone around you tells you what ‘hard work’ raising kids is and you long for that hard work.

I connected with a donor agency in South Africa and even found a donor that I was happy with and yet I still continued to search.

I still wasn’t sure, I was still overwhelmed, I was fearful, I was grieving the loss of my own eggs and not quite ready to move forward.

On top of that I was grieving the imminent loss of my father through terminal cancer and was struggling emotionally on many levels.

In the end it took me two years to take action and organize my donor egg cycle. I went round and round in circles and came back to choosing the very first donor that I had originally chosen.

I’m not saying this is a decision that you should rush into. Absolutely not. However I know in my heart of hearts I lost time through emotional overwhelm.

I don’t want anyone else to miss out on two years of being a parent.
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